


Mistletoe

by highladyofstars



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: AU-modern setting, Angst, Christmas Party, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, Fluff, Nessian - Freeform, Romance, Tomas is an asshole, different POVs, first fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-07 08:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13431306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/highladyofstars/pseuds/highladyofstars
Summary: It's Christmas. Nesta hates parties, Cassian and mistletoe. What happens when all three are combined together in a night?





	1. Chapter 1: The Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I saw a prompt on tumblr and I just couldn't resist. This was supposed to be a fun light-hearted fluffy fic but I think it became a little more angsty. This does include some mature language and references to sexual assualt; I apologize if you're uncomfortable with that. Also, all these character belong to the queen, Sarah J Maas. :)

I added the final touch to my stunning outfit by zipping up my black knee-high leather boots under the short, velvet dress that hugged my curves in just the right places. I grabbed the keys from the table and got into my car to go to the Christmas party my sister, Feyre, and her boyfriend, Rhysand, were throwing.

  
If it were up to me, I would plop onto my couch and binge on the entire 7th season of Game of Thrones right now. But Rhys insisted I come, claiming he and Feyre had some big news, and he wanted both his and Feyre’s family there.

  
As soon as I opened the door to their house and ‘Baby, it’s cold outside’ hit my ears, I steered myself for the bar and began to pour myself a nice, tall glass of whiskey. It wasn’t that I particularly hated the holidays; I just wasn’t used to celebrating. Solely another inconvenience of growing up with an alcoholic, widowed father.

  
While I was pouring, I heard a familiar, deep voice behind me saying “Merry Christmas, Nesta. Look up.” And when I did, I saw something that I did hate about Christmas. Mistletoe. Who even made up these ‘rules’ about kissing random people under some poisonous plant?

  
“I believe it’s required we kiss now”, he continued, with a hint of amusement in his voice.

  
I turned around to face a tall hunk of muscle and dark hair, who was grinning from ear to ear. I pasted a cool expression on my face, raised an eyebrow and responded, “If you think some plant is going to dictate who I kiss, you are sorely mistaken, Cassian.”

  
I expertly spun away from him, spotting a bright head of ginger hair and made a beeline for my other sister and her boyfriend, Lucien. I tried to make small talk with them, but my mind kept wandering back to Cassian.

  
Cassian wasn’t exactly a friend and he wasn’t even close to being a stranger. We were- complicated, in the simplest terms. For starters, he was Rhys’s brother - though there was more. We met at a bar and shared one passionate kiss, all before I knew he was the friend my sister wanted me to meet that night. After that, all we did was bicker and never again kissed-or did anything more. He constantly got on my nerves with his teasing and flirting, and I’d once heard him call me a stone-cold bitch. We could never work out romantically - no matter what we felt for each other.

  
So when he asked me to dance in the middle of my conversation about Elain's flower shop, I scoffed and asked,“ Are you serious?”

  
The side of his mouth came up into a smirk. “Why not?”

  
I couldn’t come up a witty response in that moment so I rolled my eyes, grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the dance floor as Elain giggled and furiously whispered something into Lucien ear.

  
I looped my arms around his tall shoulders while he placed his hands on my waist with a gentleness I didn’t know he had.

  
When his dark eyes began to intensely bore into me and the silent awkwardness got to loud, I asked, “Do you know what Rhys has planned for tonight?”.

  
He leaned in close enough to tickle my neck with his breath as whispered, “I’m not allowed to tell just yet. But you’ll find out soon enough.” He leaned back and studied my annoyed expression before he added, “You really don’t like surprises do you?”.

  
I merely raised an eyebrow at him before looking away into the crowd behind him. While I danced with him, I was reminded of that first night we met.

  
I was sitting at the bar, sipping my martini and waiting for my sister when my ex, Tomas, walked in and sat down right beside me. I didn’t notice until I heard his rumbling voice order a beer. I quickly moved to get out of my seat when he placed his hand high on my thigh and said in a low voice, “Where do you think you’re going, love?” I glared at him with fire in my eyes before I shoved his hand off of me and briskly walked out the door.

  
Suddenly, a hand grabbed my wrist in the darkness and slammed me into the brick wall before a body pressed into mine and I scented the familiar pine cologne that sat beside me only a few moments ago. I began to panic and tried to shove him away but before I could scream, he was ripped away and I heard a satisfying crunch. I saw Tomas curled up in a ball clutching his nose that was gushing with blood- and a handsome, dark-haired man I’d never seen before standing over him rubbing his bruised knuckles.

  
The next few moments became a blur as it finally dawned on me what had just happened. This tall stranger who was currently escorting my to a table had just saved me and he was asking me something I didn’t hear. I came back to the present as I asked him to repeat himself in a hoarse whisper. He asked if I was okay and when I said I was, he introduced himself as Cassian and bought me a glass of water.

  
We continued to converse, even long after my sister texted saying she’d be late because of traffic. I opened myself up to him in a way I couldn’t for years. Then a sudden urge came over me to kiss him so I did, though he swiftly broke the kiss shortly after, claiming I was too drunk.

  
Then Feyre finally arrived and broke the spell. She saw us together and told me who he was; that he wasn't a stranger I could sleep with then never see again. After that night, whenever he tried to get close to me again, I pushed him away, each time spitting insults.

  
I didn’t know what I was thinking when I trusted him the first night but I wouldn’t make the same mistake again as I did with Thomas. It seemed like he eventually got the hint and that he’d forgotten everything about our first meeting. Until tonight when we danced.

  
I moved closer, just barely, but he gasped as my chest brushed against his. Electricity shot through me. In that moment, everybody around us disappeared and it was just us again, like that first night when we were simply strangers. His hand slowly slid down to cup my hip as the other began to wind through my hair. I reluctantly looked up to find his unfocused, dreamy eyes cast down staring back down at me. I held his gaze as we stopped dancing in the middle of the dance floor. We were both frozen in time, endless. There were butterflies fluttering, not just in my stomach, but everywhere, under all my skin, sending shivers up and down through my bones.

  
“Nesta”, he whispered in a choked voice. He pulled me closer until we breathed the same breath. I heard him inhale, his breath hitching. The crowd, the music, the mistletoe - it was all a blur of light and colour. His face was inches away from mine as he lowered his head and his eyes fluttered shut. Our lips just barely brushed before what felt like lightning began to shoot between us.

  
There was loud clinking of glass: shattering, deafening. We tore ourselves apart to face Rhys standing in the middle of the room, holding a glass of champagne in one hand and a spoon and a black box in the other, with Feyre by his side. My heart was still pounding as I tilted my flushed face up to look at Cassian’s, swiftly smoothing into a polite smile - almost as if nothing at all had just happened. As if I had just imagined all of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?? This may or may not be continued, depending on the attention it receives. I would love constructive feedback, suggestions or comments! Thank you so much for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm continuing! This chapter, again, does include some mature language and I apologize if you are uncomfortable with that. Now this chapter, I intended to be angsty but it does get happier! Also, all these characters belong to the queen, Sarah J Maas. :)

My heart was pounding but I didn’t let it show on my face- even though all I wanted to do was dance with joy and yell from the rooftops how much I loved the devastating woman standing beside me while she would probably would laugh. 

But I couldn’t do that. Not now. Right now was Rhys’ time. And Feyre’s, even though she probably didn’t know that yet. I smiled to myself, imagining what would happen in only a few moments. 

As if on cue, Rhys began to recite the speech he had practiced countless times in front of me and Azriel. 

“Hello, guests, thank you so much for coming and spending Christmas with us! We greatly appreciate it! Well look at that, it’s 11:59! Almost Christmas!” He looked at his watch the way he had practiced several more times than necessary. 

“Anyways, this Christmas is special. It’s the first Christmas Cassian is still somewhat sober until midnight.” he said jokingly, while everyone laughed, looking my way. Everyone but Nesta, that is. 

That part of the speech, he hadn’t passed by me. I made a mental note to punch him in his stupidly perfect jaw later on. 

“But that’s not the only reason.”, he continued,“It’s the first Christmas Feyre and I are spending in our own house with our family. And I really hope it isn’t the last.”, he said, while he and Feyre looked each other with an expression that can only loosely be called love. There was so much more in that brief glance. “In fact, I hope it’s all the Christmases that pass in the future.” The expression on Feyre’s face now included surprise as Rhys got down on his knee, softly gripping her hand. “Feyre, darling, you have been the stars to my darkness for the past 1094 days I have known and loved you. Before I met you, I was lost. But you, darling,- you found me. You keep me tethered to the light. Ever since I met you this day 3 years ago, I knew. When I saw you walk into that cafe with your wind-mussed hair and flushed red cheeks, I knew. That was it. You were it. Feyre, darling, Merry Christmas.”, he whispered softly, with a smile on his face. At this point, Feyre most likely knew what was about to happen- otherwise, the tears welling up in her eyes would have been a major problem. 

“Yes!” she exclaimed at the same time he asked,“Will you marry me?”

They both happily kissed as Rhys slowly stood up. They were full on making out now, as if they had forgotten that their entire family was still there, even though we were cheering very loud. 

I quickly glanced at my watch and it was 12:01 now. Christmas. I, then, chuckled to myself as I noticed a certain bright green plant with red berries hanging on top of Rhys and Feyre, who were still playing grab-ass in the middle of a Christmas party they were hosting. Even Mor was done cheering now, though she was still staring at them, grinning from ear-to-ear.

I also noticed that Nesta was nowhere to be found.

~*~

After discreetly looking around for a while, I came to the conclusion that Nesta was not in the apartment. I suddenly remembered that night in the bar when Nesta was telling me how when she was a kid, she used to go up to the roof of her old apartment building whenever she was feeling overwhelmed. 

The roof. That’s where she was. I grabbed two champagne flutes and a half-full bottle of champagne, and made my way to the roof.  

When I got there, I saw her leaning against the ledge with her eyes shut and letting the wind wildly flap through her hair. Even in the middle of the dark night, she looked stunning. The bright city lights were illuminating her sharp cheekbones and hitting all her curves in the right places. I stood there in the doorway for a moment, taking it all in, before letting the door clang shut and allowing my loud footsteps break the calm silence. 

When I began to walk towards her, her eyes jolted open and she looked at me but the usual blaze in her was gone. In fact, her eyes looked slightly red and swollen but it could have just been the lights contrasting with the dark, distorting my vision. She simply turned back to the view of the city. 

I went and stood beside her for a few minutes silently, setting the bottle and glasses on the ledge beside me. I was about to speak when she said, “What are you doing here, Cassian?”, in a broken, wavering voice that left me speechless. I’d never heard or seen her like this since that first night, and it nearly shattered me to see it. 

When I tried to speak, it came out in a raspy whisper, almost as if I didn’t want to disturb the deafening silence created by the night sky and Nesta’s somber mood. 

“ I noticed you weren't downstairs and I remembered- I guessed that you’d be here. I thought you might want some champagne.” I said holding the bottle, silently offering it to her. 

She hesitantly nodded once and I poured us both a glass. After I handed it to her and took a sip, I gathered the courage to ask, “Nesta. Are you- ”, I paused, carefully choosing my words. “Are you okay?”

She, then, blankly stared at me, making me wonder if I’d made a mistake. Abruptly, her expression grew more contemplative and she asked, “ Do you even care?” She didn’t sound like she was mocking me, the way she usually did, but she sounded like she actually wanted to know, and, again, this took me by surprise. I paused before speaking, gathering my words. 

“Of course I care, Nesta. We might not be each other's favourite people but I do care about you. You’re my- You-.” My words became lost. What was she? Sometimes, I wanted to rip her head off, but other times she astounded me, like now. And I sure as hell could not tell her that I loved her.

She looked at me, waiting for me to continue, but I didn’t know how to end that sentence. So I raked my hand through my hair and I started again. “I care about you, Nesta. Please tell me what’s wrong.”, I pleaded. 

Her eyes widened at my soft words and she slowly looked back at the buildings. Just when I thought she was going to ignore me, she lowered her head into her palms and started. 

“I miss him sometimes. I know I shouldn’t but we loved each other.” 

She paused and looked at me. “You know what? You probably don’t want to hear my sob story. Why am I telling you this?” She laughed without any emotion, and made to turn back to the door and leave. 

But my hand shot out, softly gripping her hand so that she could pull away if she wanted to. “I told you, Nesta. I do care. Please tell me.” 

She looked over at me and turned back to the ledge, hopefully continuing. “Just after we got engaged, his business deal fell through at the last minute and he began drinking. Heavily. I thought it would pass but it didn’t. When he tried-,”. Her voice broke and I knew what she was about to say. “When he finally pulled the last straw, I took all my stuff and left, never looking back.” Then I heard her unmistakable sobs when she paused for a moment. 

She inhaled once and slowly exhaled before continuing. “I saw that ring today, and I was reminded of all the good things we did together. When we went to Hawaii together and he told me he loved me for the first time. When he took me on a cruise to the Bahamas and proposed to me.” She raised her head and stared out into the night, with the tears streaming down her face. “I felt like a fucking idiot tonight for feeling it. I hate him. I hate him so much- but I did love him once. And I hate that.”, she said in a cold distant voice that, frankly, scared me a bit. 

Her confession left me shattered and speechless, and all I wanted was to hold her until those tears disappeared. But I couldn’t do that right now so I settled for filling up her now empty glass and gripping her hand, softly squeezing it, hoping that told her everything I couldn’t say out loud. I didn’t know what I could possibly say out loud but I wanted her to know that I cared. 

We stood there for a while, hands loosely clasped, sipping our champagne until her tears had dried and the bottle was empty.  We were quiet for majority of the time but occasionally, I would tell her stupid, little stories about my childhood, growing up with my adoptive brothers. Surprisingly, she didn’t even know that Az and I were adopted. I told her a story about how when I was 8, I’d caught Rhys eating the last slice of pie and I chased him through the house, all while Rhys was trying to shove the pie into his tiny 7-year old mouth leaving a long trail of crumbs and strawberry sauce that his mother eventually made us clean up. Az was sitting on the couch the entire time, peacefully reading. How he concentrated, even while Rhys and I ran a couple laps around him, still astounds me.

I felt a small ray of accomplishment and relief shoot through me when I made finally got her to laugh with that story. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard and it was all I wanted to hear for the rest of my life. 

When the bottle finished and it was silent except the roaring wind, Nesta said in a steady voice, “We should go back downstairs. They’ll probably be wondering where we are by now.” 

I hated to agree but I did. We had been up here for a while. “Yeah. We should go.” I so badly wanted to finished what we’d started on the dance floor earlier but I didn’t want to overwhelm her. Only when she was ready. If she was ready. 

Our hands came apart when I needed to hold the empty bottle in one hand and a glass in the other, but the loss of contact was already beginning to physically hurt me. We glanced at each other before we walked towards the door that led back to the party. And back to reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?? I would love constructive feedback, suggestions or comments! Thank you so much for reading!


	3. help?

So I'm slightly stuck. When I first started writing this, I had no idea where it was going to go. And I still don't. So if you all have any ideas as to where this fic should go, I would LOVE to hear them. I'm sorry this isn't an actual update. Thanks!


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